It’s this coat that I really liked and loved wearing that, now, the friend that I got it from wants back. Obviously, there’s no hard feelings, why would there ever be any, anyway, right? Plus, the story of this coat lit up the faces of so many people that long hair don’t care. And, now, there’s this itch in my stomach that can not be ignored; to get up really early, tomorrow morning, go look for the fabric that would fit my mojo, and have this coat that I really liked and loved wearing made. No pressure. Of course there’s no pressure, it’s the flow, it’s natural, that’s the thingy thing. It’s easy challenging sparkling true drums to its own beat but also home but also dance chill in harmony you know walk loving wholeness enthusiasm; I completely ignored any commas because, hey, this is what it feels like inside of a coat you adore. You throw it on top of anything you choose to wear, at any given moment, when you leave home. It becomes your home, at any given moment.
A certain kind of feeling had been, so smoothly, sprinkling a certain kind of energy around, prior to the wants back. At times, guh-dung, the heart felt pulled out of the stomach (it’s where the butterfly lives), but something outside of it (a rhyme would’ve been nice, but) just carried me, carried for me, it felt soothing. Fluent. Hugging. Fresh. Hm, perfume.
The lunch on Monday got us talking on the phone even after we’d got home. Oh, so, basically you’re just done with the bulls*it, good, I say. Yeah, man, I’m done. And I think it comes with age, Alice says. I almost agree, it’s what my brother says, pretty often, as well. This time around, though, words seem to die to fall out of my mouth: You know what, I always knew I didn’t feel good around bulls*it. Now, I have zero tolerance to it. Myeah, that feels true, I know my Alice. I know someone who is not even ten and has zero tolerance to bulls*it. Her name is Inga, she is my brother’s youngest daughter. Hi, sweet, sweet baby girl!
My fingers are asking themselves: Should we say more? Should we say that bulls*it is part of… Bulls*it, bulls*it, bulls*it… Nope, we can’t. Don’t want to. Why even try?, they are, also, answering. This is, definitely, not about the coat. I believe the coat has its own journey. I love the coat and I feel it’s the last time I see it. It sounds tragic, but I’m smiling as I’m writing, so, the coat and I, we’re on the same page. We’re cool. Plus, there’s this adore thingy thing sexy sprinkling a certain kind of energy around. Free. What you think about you bring about sounds like equilibrium.
The friend that I got the coat from and me, our history goes way back. When her sister wanted to become a stylist, she asked me how to go about it. I told her my truth. If there’s someone you really like, the way they work, their work, then talk to them and see what happens. If not, you do you, you be the stylist that you, to the core, feel that you are, create your own path. And this is what she did. I’m pretty sure that if she’d be asked if she’d achieved her then goal, she would answer yes. I don’t know if she remembers our conversation or not, it’s not even important, we were never on talking basis or anything like that, all I know is that whenever it crosses my mind, I’m happy with what I said and have a haha on my mind.
It all makes sense. It’s what it always used to be like. My heart. Totally out there. Many things make sense, now, in a fraction of a second. I marvel at it, look at it from the outside. Celebrate it. The heart. I’m flying, my feet are not on the ground, or is it the other way around? It’s all about the intention, all the time. It’s not just about clothes, it never has been. It’s just that I felt something going on between the coat and me. Others picked up on it, for sure, and found it hard to handle. The coat is simply meant to land in someone else’s closet and make someone else see things so finely, relax, Cristina. Clothes are not ever just clothes, see? On a random walk, with someone dear, to have something on the go, stop on the sidewalk to taste something they’ve never tasted before. They might have, you know you haven’t, the stream takes you places literally.
It happened over Israel, for instance. The friend I was walking with went to Tel Aviv, several times, and she was delighted when we ran into this place, on a Thursday afternoon. We didn’t stay long, but we enjoyed the whole thing properly. The people cooking were actually from there, so that only made it authentic, obviously, but also delicious. Of course it did, it’s what authentic is all about. People that really want you to have the best bite of their not only traditional, but favourite food, too, and, now, they make it here, so they want it to be extra good for you. Our conversation about the mix of ingredients, definitely, added the extra vavavoom to it. Just like the mango in a particular sauce did. Gracefully taking turns on a road that seems to climb up somewhere, I know.
And you happen to be in this coat.
Then, at some point, a while ago, a party came, kind of out of nowhere. Although… Yes, uhm. I figured out, in five, what I was going to wear. The coat, yes, and the favourite pink, blue, black and white zebra print pair of trousers, made of some cool, cool wool that keeps you warm in winter, mm. They hug your body, so effortlessly, and you know you feel like dancing whenever you’re in them, or like watching out the windows of the airplane that takes you home, after the Christmas week with the family. See? We got way up high now. Precisely. Home, home, home.
Grocery shopping that feels hot thanks to, yes, the coat. You throw it on top of the homewear you love, the hair is, without fail, connected. Give me your best shot! Fast. And in sync. Of course. You did the list, crisp, music is in your ears when you’re alone and when you’re not. When you’re not and you’re with a family member while the whole family is waiting on the specific things on the list, you’d better be back home yesterday. Fun.
But, then, a romantic weekend you get to spend with your bestie came. Present tense, past tense, future tense, everything is here now, it seems. We’d been talking for hours on the phone. I was in the bathtub, she was wherever she happened to be, we’re on a tiny bit of different time zones. But, now, it’s snowing and all that, I’m wearing the coat I really like, a bobble hat with ear flaps that I really like, and it feels so right, it’s Saturday night and we’re heading to this cosy place with mouthwatering pizza. And wine.
And then, you know, there’s the one you adore on your mind.
Or on a walk with someone you, all of a sudden, find yourself developing big ideas for a city to flourish, what, I know. And I believe the best a human being can do for the city they live in, the city they were born in, all the countries they live in, or visit, or work in, or whatever in, is to be the best human being that they are. Guess what, anyone could do that. In any form they feel their most authentic in. Easy.
The text from the friend with the coatI kinda bummed out, for a second, but thought hm, let’s see. It was about the thrill and the time inside of it, nostalgic. Static. I’ve never find it to be my vibe. Ever. At all, but. This might sound like I’m metaphorical or something, but I’m not. A relationship totally represents the thrill and the time inside of it, loyalty, that’s the whole drill, who has time for whatever had come before it? It circles back to the aforementioned no commas part. But, but, but. Wait. Let’s not necessarily define it. Although! You know what I mean. Love. Love. Love. Love. Love. Love. Love. Love. Love.
I could insert some insane (or some very very plain but also heady but also chill but also dancey hello me again) lining into the coat, a thought crosses my mind. Ooh, I’d like that. Don’t want to define that either, but I can almost feel the thrill. My eyes do feel it. Ooh. Of, accurately, looking through some factory. Similarly to the grocery shopping from before. Without a list though, and that’s… Exciting. I know I’ll love to let it flow. See. With fabrics, however, you never know, some kind of synchronicity might take you somewhere you’ve never even thought about. It doesn’t have to, but you’re satisfied with the way life unfolds. Who knows what coat might show up in my dreams tonight! That takes me on a drive that would get me out of bed. And fly.
I thought about the coat in the tinniest moments. Why, God, why? Kidding. It’s Interesting how it all came about these days. Have you noticed how, sometimes, stuff happens, how kindred situations do, people, too? A day could pass and you see no one and, then, a day comes and you see and talk to (or just, diplomatically, choose not to) five people that… Something! It’s when you decide to make the best out of it. You’re already on your rocket, it’s a fact. As in you know what feels right. Funny enough, the coat, collaterally, felt so, too.
So, I went to the mountains, for yet another cozy extended weekend. I could just delete the days, right? The days are here for us to notice the waves they bring into our lives, just like the seasons do.
Is this what letting go of the past completely feels like? It sounds like a metaphor I didn’t even know I needed, and whatever happens next on the journey of the coat is whatever happens next on the journey of the coat. It’s a game you enjoy playing. The one you’ve, always, loved. Is it, now, that life is saying, in a more obvious way, come on, come on? Very funny, life, very funny. I know I made that decision a long time ago. Oh, ok, so that fine is the line. And crystal clear. I see. I’m with you. With me. Yes, definitely. It’s those boundaries. Much better! Perfect! Thank you! Yes. Invincible is just as cool as vulnerable is. Or, let’s say, as honest is.
The coat has its own way, pfew, it’s good to be back. Hello!
You went to what feels like the natural extreme to you, but at times, you might have ended up hurting yourself in some very subtle way. Again and again. You know you did what felt right in your heart, but it’s not until you bump into the one you can, actually, bounce off ideas with, at any time of day and night, that you stay up in delight. And relax again. It’s our ultimate right. Ultimate luxury comes to mind. You grow, you enjoy the ride.
Sometimes, you tended to overstretch yourself. I know I did. I stretched the s*it out of the wild thing while doing yoga and wanting to see the sun coming out of the mountains, at the same time, on Monday morning, and, now, my neck is so happy to be in the warmth of the bathtub. Funny sun, funny mountains, funny way to start the week. Another week in paradise, basically.
A discussion with mom, on the Monday morning from just before, over breakfast, got mom saying It’s like you know it’s not really right what you’re doing, you can sense it in your gut, but you do it, in that fraction of a second.
It’s for you to learn, I say. It’s up to you. You learn so, next time you can sense it in your gut, you get ahead of it, celebrate your accomplishment. Next time there might be no next time. There will always be a next time and it’s up to what you want to bring about. Next. Ooh.
Loona came by, later on. We took a tour of the entire house, very ladylike of us. Even mom couldn’t hide her enthusiasm. Dad made her a bed in the back log housey house. Who knows when she might have babies again. Of course I googled the neck overstretch, the shoulders overstretch thingy thing. All good. Google, so close to giggle.
This thingy thing I love bringing in… I got it from Gema, Leo’s mom, we love each other and we have this thingy thing conversations whenever they happen to happen. Every time I bring it in, I know exactly what we both mean. I might have gotten it to a little bit of an extreme, love supreme, but we’re family, it’s fabulous. She sent me Until I Found You, on the same Monday, I replied with The Horses, on Tuesday. Hi, Gem, shy emoji. When I sensed her overthinking, I know exactly what that feels like, I knew I knew her, we made a deal, on the spot: let’s just put it out there, Gem, whatever comes from you I know it always comes with the best intention and that’s all that matters, regardless of the words or gestures, and that whatever comes from me you know it always comes with the best intention and that’s all that matters, regardless of the words or gestures. Basically, no bulls*it. She likes it when I say You bet!.
The coat story is so romantic. I’ve been telling it to everyone who complemented me on the coat. Newsflash, the coat is wonderful, there’s no doubt about it, was a complete surprise for me, too, but it was more about that thingy thing going on between us. The one that can’t be bought. No matter who buys it.
It feels so good it makes you take the decision to say no to anything that is nowhere near to what it feels like and, boom, the universe starts to rearrange itself for you, remember? Oh yes! The truth! There’s truth in relationships. It’s what, I believe, the foundation of every relationship is. It takes two, though, until two become one. If we were all to become one, would half of the planet disappear? Never mind that, imagine the sparkles all over the place.
The mug my coffee is now in says make love not walls, but you, definitely, want walls around when you mate with your soul, don’t you? You… We watched the Kingdom of Dreams on Friday, on Saturday. I know I wanted everyone around me happy, no matter what, and that proved to be pretty tricky, deceptions and betrayals came out of who knows where. The victim thing has never been my thing and it’s precisely this thing that can become a thing for people around you, guh-dung. I’ve always been inspired by freedom, go figure, and so, intuition has been telling me the truth, but I used to kind of choose to tell her nah, it can’t be that… And then my eyes saw it, my ears heard it. You bet it made me stronger. I’m not mad at it. It just feels pretty tricky when it’s tricky, period. Stars know I’ve tried. And so, stars helped me learn about the walls, hallelujah. Mate for however long you want. It’s the scale, the vibe, the tribe.
There’s a lot to this story, there are many stories spread throughout. This coat ends up being not just more than just a coat, which we one hundred percent clarified that it is, more than just a coat, but a bouquet of flowers taking off from my hands, as we speak – a symbol of the grande finale. A symbol of the past. Ooh, it sounds more dramatic than it is. For the coat and me. It’s suave, airy, no worries, mmwa! Now, I value it even more, it’s been my armour, a cape through a time in my life I won’t forget.
I adore soft.
It’s not about not loving anymore, of course. You love your old friends who you danced a lot with in clubs, at parties, on impromptu nights, happening all of a sudden, who have respected your boundaries, as seen next. Aaaaaa!!!! We keep this tradition of saying Happy Bday a thousand days apart or, you know, not at all, wahaha. Happy birthday! The best is always yet to come! Mwa! Hug [lovely wife] and the little guy! Ever growing pink heart, rocket, star. The old friend’s reply: Hahaha you’re so funny. Pretty thanks kisses Kiss emoji.
It’s about choosing happiness when the stars intervene which is always. Renaissance. You know where you stand. You’ll always have the memories, you’ve known each other for more than ten years, you smile at the thought of the memories alone, but, man, you’ve never felt more you than you do right now. Home, and home again, and again, feels so good.
And then I call Gabi, she’s been cutting my hair for more than ten years, too, and everything is just so clear. Sharp. Genuine.
Listen, long story short, this is the thing. I went to her wedding, a year ago, we’d known each other for more than ten years, keep it feisty and short, yes, then she came to my place, I cooked something lively on the spot, had some red wine, my neighbours happened to come by, we had a good time and we all, now, smile when we remember about just how sick I then, instantly, got. Funny, funny. Anyway, back to the coat. Oh, we haven’t even started that.
So, at some point, it might have seemed like another bottle of red wine was needed or something, so we decided to go together to get one, from the grocery shop just near by. I was wearing a pair of blue jeans and, by that time, they got really, really ripped just underneath the right cheek, a sweater on top and I decided to not go butt naked to the grocery shop, right when we were in front of the elevator. I had my warm jacket on, but the right cheek was being cheeky, you know how it goes. As soon as I turned back to go change, she said: oh no, let’s just exchange our jackets. She put my dark blue hooded winter jacket I, basically, wear all of the time in winter on and I put the – ta-da! – coat that she’d just found in a charity shop. She thought of reselling it through her instagram shop. We laughed about the whole thing in the elevator, in the grocery shop, and as soon as we got back in the elevator, she told me You know what, this coat suits you so well (the truth is I felt fantastic in it for the fraction of the second we were out) that I’m thinking let’s exchange coats and see what happens. So this is what we did. Doesn’t this sound… Lovely? I liked it from the moment I saw it, but I just might sell it to you. I was in.
It was unexpected, sounded invigorating, sure! I should have bought it right then and there, but here’s how it went naturally, so naturally that, now that I think about it, I trust this thing with all my heart. I pulled out a coat I’d been wearing in paralel and the story of how and where I bought this one is funny, too. I enjoyed it a lot, we had some awesome times together, and thought, on the spot, perfect timing for it to land in someone else’s closet and make someone else see things so finely, relax, Cristina.
One year later, one night, the friend that I got the coat from texted me that she wanted the coat back. My heart skipped a bit, but also couldn’t wait to call her, on my morning run, and, also, catch up, on the occasion. The morning came and I was talking so loud that I bet the whole Victory Avenue could hear me. I went on and on about how she needs to take care of herself more as a response to what she’d been telling me. You know how you speak on the phone with your headphones in. It feels like it’s only you and the one at the other end on the planet. Suddenly, however, for a fraction of a second, there were no cars, almost no people, and with all the noise cancelation in the world, it felt like it was just the sun and me, on the sidewalk. It’s the moment I brought up the coat. My intention was to know what she truly wanted. She told me she wanted the coat back because she felt like wearing it to Rome on her next trip. When I heard that, I knew there was no going back. I told her about my undying love for it, though, but also told her that I completely got that. The cold wind was around, as well. It was on that that day that the other four people came about. You coat, you…
Are coats the some kind of magic Queen is singing about?
I couldn’t resist, I wanted to be there one hundred percent and see. I flew to a fabric warehouse. Now, here’s another thing. If I would’ve bumped into the thingy thing, I would’ve got it no matter what. But I didn’t, it felt right. I flew back home. Loved it. Sincerely.