Now this is quite a vision. Just imagine Batman sipping on his Piña Colada in the middle of some ocean, or riding a rollercoaster in Port Aventura, or dancing in the club post dancing at home with friends, by his own disco ball. The latter Batman is myself enjoying a bodysuit I wouldn’t normally wear on a Wednesday and dreaming about the first two.
But a bodysuit I would definitely wear for Halloween.
In the role of the first two, sipping and riding, is Christian Bale in Christopher Nolan’s trilogy. I dream about the part of sipping and riding, obviously, am in awe of the artistic action, yet wish for each of us to want to be Batman in his own kind of Gotham.
It is unanimously believed that kids enjoy costuming more than adults do, but could it possibly be true? I don’t think so. Kids enjoy everything anyway because that’s what kids do. Adults, on the other hand, can’t just randomly get out of the house dressed as unicorns or Joker.
When thinking of disguising, Jerry Seinfeld’s bit on Superman comes to mind, every single time.
The idea of wearing Superman’s pajamas is quite a drill, though. I would, anytime, use any excuse to wear pjs, hence I have been infusing pjs vibes within my style for as long as I can remember. Fit clothes to me, however, embody what Halloween costumes stand for.
So, it only made sense for me to wear JLo’s bodysuit. Wait, wait. Wait up! I bought myself – when picking up pumpkins with my 4 and 5 years old nieces – a black velvet cape just in case I needed a costume. Batman had already been on my mind since I, randomly, ran into some fun Batman glasses a while ago.
Yet what about the costume?
I went to a costume shop. A true male Batman costume would have, definitely, made me feel like kid Seinfeld did in Superman. Was that my chance to wear Batman’s pajamas? Oh, maaan! Speaking of men, I didn’t, necessarily, intend on a superhero male Halloween costume, but those hip glasses have been screaming with joy, from inside the wardrobe, for quite some time. I’ve been wearing a real Batgirl mask. A Batgirl mask, yet not a Batgirl costume. Girl! This is where JLo came in, did the trick with her bodysuit and made me forget about the cape. Oh, girl!
Who would have thought there is a JLo costume for rent? For any kind of character to get into the rental costume shop is not a small thing to achieve, I think. Anyway, I had to follow my Batman costume construction. Black leggings were too JLo-wy and Christopher Nolan’s Batman has too much mysterious elegance going on around him at all times for me to be butt naked as Batwoman or something.
So I wore my black flars underneath. Flares always have some kind of… Something going on. A little mysterious party on their own. Each foot with its own party.
Halloween is about partying more than it is about scaring or eating candy, right? When have grown ups forgotten to enjoy everything just like kids do? Ask them next time you see them.
A rollercoaster has just been mentioned above, these days I’m reading George Saunders’ The Braindead Megaphone, fun is always on my mind, I went to the Wild Wadi waterpark in Dubai like ten years ago, so it only made sense to leave this passage here:
Then the Navy Guys notice the Glowering Muttering Arabs, and it gets weirdly tense there in line. Luckily, it’s my turn to awkwardly blop into a tube, and off I go.
This ride involves a series of tremendous water jets that blast you, on your tube, to the top of Wild Wadi, where your recently purchased swim trunks having been driven up your rear by the jets, you pause, looking out over the entire city – the miles of stone-white villas, the Burj Al Arab (sail-shaped, iconic, the world’s only seven-star hotel) out in the green-blue bay – just before you fly down so fast that you momentarily fear the next morning’s headline will read “Middle-aged American Dies in Freak Waterslide Mishap; Bathing Suit Found Far Up Ass.”
Be that as it may, in my tube at Wild Wadi, I have a mini-epiphany: given enough time, I realize, statistically, despite what it may look like at any given moment, we will all be brothers. All differences will be bred out. There will be no pure Arab, no pure Jew, no pure American American. The old dividers – nation, race, religion – will be overpowered by crossbreeding and by our mass media, our world Culture o’Enjoyment.
Look what just happened here: hatred and tension were defused by Sudden Fun.
We, the New People, desire Fun and the Good Things of Life, and through Fun, we will be saved.