Or what if life knew I wanted the best seats in the room and life just gave me that?
Or the day that the Universe winks at you. Or a night that you wink back at the Universe. Wink, wink. And you remember it forever.
The days that are so full of electricity that you even can’t tell anyone about, immediately after, are the days that stick with you. Not even your parents who you’re with, on holiday, at your brother’s. Cristina, you haven’t yet told me how was it last night, at the U2 concert!, mom. Wait, wait, it’s too soon to get into it, I wide open my eyes, throw my hands up in the air, put them on my cheekbones, then through my hair, look up, pull out a Whooh! and get out of my brother’s kitchen. It has big windows and an island.
His name is Radu and the way we call each other… I don’t even remember when we started to call each other like that. It’s not about some sort of cheesiness, it’s never been about that, but it is about loads of kissing and hugging. Coming from me, at first, and, only after, coming from him back, apparently a bit forced, but I know what that is, and it always comes with a fun smile that seems like only I know about. It’s with my brother that I live some of the most intense moments with. The way kids do, just in the moment, naturally, without actually thinking about what we’re doing. Being present is the trick. Kids gonna kids.
It’s no longer the room we used to fall asleep in together, as kids, at home. It’s on the shore of England, it’s by the fireplace at hisplace, it’s in his sports car, always clean and with music that makes entering it feel like entering our home. He tells me it’s his favourite car so far and, over a glass of wine, I start to tell him what I feel about it. With us, it’s what we feel about something that’s everything. Genuinely. Spoken, but also unspoken. Our mom makes these pies not many people get; they come with particular flavours, specific notes, images, and an after-taste that goes straight to that place in the brain and, swoosh, we are being taken to that place. Ours.
Sometimes, he laughs when just seeing my reaction to something. It’s everything. Few people can actually do that to the core. Get it and laugh, simultaneously. It’s where the music plays, the world just is, flavours or smells come to mind, but so do the holidays, and the clothes. It’s the place only we know about. I’m writing about it here, but, still, it’s only us that know about it.
When the cable guys installed the Internet, at our parents’, and I had to tell them, on the spot, a network name and a password, I immediately said evenbetterthantherealthing.
And iwanttogotoau2concert.
I hadn’t used, nor thought about this user name or password before. It was more than 20 years ago, and in all these years, whenever anyone came to our parents’, parents called me and asked for the password (again and again, yes). The guests, somehow, guess that evenbetterthantherealthing must be our network, but I just changed it. I went to the U2 concert with my brother on the 20th of October 2018. I got the tickets on the 8th of August 2018.
One of Radu’s best friends was coming to visit him and he mentioned something about them going together to the U2 concert, in Manchester.
I say What? I want to go, too!. He says This used to be our Internet password at home, right?. A couple of days go by and I tell Radu that it would be cool for us all to go, the whole family. I find tickets on viagogo, he finds tickets at the Arena, but we don’t get them. Another week goes by and I find, on the Internet, the two last tickets in an area that was still OK, I call Radu, he doesn’t answer, I get them and think Well, I guess it’s just the two of us. And There’s so much time until then…
But the 19th of October comes in an instant and we land at my brother’s, the place where I forget about the Internet. We all spend a Friday evening that’s so nice it looks and feels like a champagne flute that gets us to a Saturday like no other. The whole week has been pretty unforgettable, but no one knows the weekend is about to go down in history. I went above and beyond for my wish.
The tickets for the concert – my parents and I basically travelled for, …well, it was just the perfect excuse, of course – still, haven’t been delivered via e-mail, nor mail. Imagine. Therefore, I’ve been talking, on the phone, with various guys from the UK and Switzerland (?!), exchanging about 50 e-mails with them to figure out stuff. I mean, it’s super easy! No confusion, right? Right. The various guys have been reassuring me, with a sort of tone disguised as serenity, that everything has been going smoothly. I believe them, every time.
It’s Saturday, 20th. Aafter having a family breakfast in the backyard, Radu, his two daughters and I are leaving for a party the girls were supposed to be at. You know the type, two hours, in the middle of the day. While they party at their party, we get to party at ours, we get to spend some time on our own. I wouldn’t have, necessarily, mentioned it if it weren’t for the great amount of time – stolen from our time together – that I spent talking, on the phone, with the previously mentioned guys, moving my hands around, trying to keep my calm. Radu is relaxed, but he is, of course, questioning my eyes with his about what is going on. It’s too much to explain, don’t worry about it, I am mimicking back. Sure, 200%, I’m mimicking, further on – it’s a quote by someone called Thierry, on the other end of the telephone line.
We get back home, just in time for the family lunch. Nice, nice, nice. Radu and I are leaving for the concert, drum roll. We embark on an hour and something drive to Manchester, stop at the gas station, it’s the gas station we usually stop at to get some salted honey almonds Ritter Sports and some coconut filled ones, some other types, and a Coca-Cola. No water, no cherries something whatsoever. I’m high on the enthusiasm.
He takes me up on a road, above the highways, we can see the cars chasing and the sun navigating the whole scenery from. We’re on the highway and the sun is all around us, just like a cartoon character, it feels like we’re playing hide and seek. The highways intertwine, trees stand tall on the sides, just like soldiers. The sun is in front of us, then shinning from the back, it’s on our left, it’s on our right, it’s a sweet game.
With music in it, oh!
Thierry from Switzerland calls me again, our conversation lasts for a half an hour (!!), and I find it pretty difficult to focus! When it’s so goddamn easy, wtf! He seems to be trying to get me as confused as possible, while, supposedly, doing his best to clarify the whole situation. What situation?! My brain hurts and my mind focuses on making some room for the sun coming into our car while listening, replying, the whole shebang, at the same time. At the same time – yes, at the same time – the discussion with Radu on my right, driving, about the Universe, all of a sudden, makes me feel crisp again. Clear. I look at him and it’s, for the first time, that we ask the question, almost at the same time – a lot of things going on at the same time – Could this be a lie?. But also: Could something go so wrong at this level?. How? No one knows about this stuff and puts an end to it?!!. I only saw the second question, in my mind’s eye, this whole week, but I, also, said to myself: Nah. Man!
If we, actually, get to see this concert, anything is possible!, I tell Radu. The psychological ambiguity is stretching my brain for no reason, that’s why it hurts, but the same psychological ambiguity makes me surrender to the moment. It’s my soul that still believes.
Oh, yes.
We’ll go and see, Radu. We arrive in Manchester just as the sun is going down. We park the car somewhere we still have 20 minutes to walk to the Arena from. We keep on kinda guessing the way to the Arena, it feels like a game again. Especially the going to the concert with kinda no ticket part. Is this for real? Is this concert even taking place?, I wonder while waiting to cross the street, on the sidewalk, and holding my head in my hands. My brother laughs, come on!, and we cross the street. Thierry told me that we’re supposed to pick up the tickets from the ticket office, all we have to do is present his e-mail at the ticket office. We get to the ticket office, it’s a huge queue. I’m thinking Oh, they all should be in the same situation, on one hand. On the other hand, I’m thinking How can this be, how can getting tickets to a big concert like this be so hard?. Anyway, while in the queue, our topics of discussion make us forget about the vast puzzle we’ve just been through to get to U2.
Radu is a surgeon, just like dad. When he comes home, just like dad – here comes the pressure of But what is my mission in life? – it’s like he comes from the beach or something, it’s the harmony that makes one wonder What’s the kind of work that makes me feel this way?. It’s like he’s flying and, as soon as he sees his two daughters, he takes them on this flight, and not only shows them the je ne sais quoi, but has fun and dances with them, no matter what.
My brother had the kind of adolescence one can only see in movies. As soon as the parents would leave the house, for the night, the house would be full, and the party, with food made by mom and drinks picked by dad, would start. It’s very vivid, still, the memory I have with our house, in the morning, full of friends sleeping all over it, all over the previously tidied up house, if you know what I mean. And, then, surprise, mom and dad came. Jees. But it isn’t about this that we’re talking about while queueing.
We get to the ticket office, I explain the situation. A gentleman checks every possibility of what might be going on while my head is, almost entirely, glued to the counter. Something isn’t glueing together, however. Another gentleman comes and tells me, straightforwardly, that it’s all a lie, that the website – I won’t even say the name of again – is a fraud and that this is how they cheat people. I feel like a big hammer smashes my head in slow motion.
I look at my brother with eyes that were, still, receiving numerous questions from the brain. Radu smiles, takes my hand, me away from the counter, and asks another gentleman if there are any tickets left for the concert that is about to begin in less than an hour. He takes us to another ticket office. Radu talks to the lady at the office, she is very nice, too. He asks about the area where I first got the tickets in. To check if there are still any left there. There are two seats left …somewhere. Without waiting for my reaction, he asks the lady what are the best tickets available at the moment. She shows them on the map. Radu’s eyes are asking me via the map. My mind is looking at the map I’d already memorised, apparently, during the week full of e-mails from Francesca or Jack. The cool lady looks at me in the coolest way, I understand these are the best seats in the room and we high-five in our imagination. Wow, I say to myself, we have the tickets. For the first time this week, and this whole while, I know for sure that we have the tickets. We get in. We get ourselves some ice-cream. These tickets, at the venue, cost much less than what I’d got them for, on top of it all, hallelujah. We find our seats. The best in the entire Arena, where U2 are about to perform. The tour is called eXPERIENCE + iNNOCENCE Tour. Intriguing, right?
Life has its ways of showing us things. The journey I – blindly – took to get to the concert sounds like a metaphor for life. I had no doubt whatsoever, however, about the both of us enjoying the concert – I mean, we got to the venue with no evidence, after all. And unaware of the fact that not everybody on this planet is well intentioned, I must add. I’m sure all people are kind, but they just forgot. Pretty lame, though, what else are we here for?
It was me taking the leap of faith first, but without my brother, in that moment, I wouldn’t have enjoyed the concert. One, because it wouldn’t have been the same without him, lol. And two, because it takes two, sometimes. I left the house without a bag, without any card, without anything. I left just as when we were kids. Not a care in the world! It’s also true that he wouldn’t have gotten to the concert if it weren’t for me to insist. We wouldn’t have gone to the concert if the thought of not having the tickets would’ve crossed our minds and so on.
The metaphor? Enjoy the ride your soul takes towards what you believe in and wish for, towards what feels best to you, regardless of the nonsense around. Also, learn to be saved, from time to time, and you might, one day, see Bono right in front of you, singing just for you. For you two, ideally. U2 singing live, right in front of us, just like they did when we were kids, but on the tv at home, feels like trust. I used to wake up, at night, to watch the European or Video Music Awards on MTV. Now, I’m just 20m away from U2.
Magic or what?
Once saved, my saviour took me to McDonald’s, it’s part of the celebration ceremony. Sharing McDonald’s, at 2 in the morning, on the highway back home, with great music and conversations, in a world that seems to be revolving around us two, for the moment, ignite the fireworks, hurray. The moon, almost full, is all around us now, just like another cartoon character, yay. We’re in sync with the Universe.
We still have about 15 minutes until we get home. You know the feeling of not wanting something to end and – boom – I’m taking you somewhere! comes in? Yes! We exit the highway and enter a very narrow, but dreamy road in the U.K. My heart skips beat after beat. We get to a place, in nature, that feels divine and almost can not be described, but hey. All the lights are out. Perfect for the stars to shine bright. We can hear the ducks. The whole and holy nature is whispering. I feel the magic wand, this time around, gently touching my head and I see it touching my brother’s head, too.
We get home late at night, get into the kitchen to have some water and bump into dad. Did you enjoy it?, dad. Yes!, us. Good night!, dad. Simple, warm, easy.
I wore an electric cotton blue shirt with white dots that just turned special, the dark blue sweater – it has a sparkle attached to it – I got while kinda shopping with my brother, the corduroy trousers that have been a surprise from the moment I’d found them, the Nikes that are dear to me by default, and the vintage Lee denim jacket I found in a hipster shop that seemed too hip to expect to find a classic Lee in it, but hey. Is this my jacket?, Radu asked. Nope, I replied. He tends to forget stuff about clothes. I tend to still wear his. You, for all of the above, thank you, and I love you! Oh f*ck off, I can hear him replying, with a fun smile that seems like only I know about.
