When you go with the flow, you either get scared of it and don’t see the sun, nor the sky above, don’t feel the breeze, nor the water or you embrace it and notice the fireworks.
God, the feeling of getting back home, at sunset! You trick yourself into a tea and (only) an episode of Call My Agent. Luckily, you’re not a binge watcher. The eagerness you watched it with, the first time, however, kept you in a fun loop. Now, you enjoy it one episode at a time, it’s the second (third?) time. And you stick to your plan and are about to start working. It’s already 8pm, but you’re cool with what you have to do, you like it. After disinfecting everything you’d entered the house with. It took you a while. Suddenly, you feel it coming. While peeking at the episode. It ends and ~ whoop ~ you put your headphones where they belong. You just want to listen to a song. With the headphones on, in a different kind of intimacy, not with all of your neighbours at once. You, actually, like your neighbours. But you’re in the soft, starred, gently perfumed in the morning robe, it has pockets to put the phone with its music in. I’ve got free hands now.
Here we go.
You pause the tv, it’s now in the background. Just one more song and I’m on it, but the light is so nice, it’s warm, it’s the mood you’re melting in at home. You’re up on your feet.
And I’m dancing, I haven’t even realised it. I always miss dancing. Five songs begin and end, randomly, yet I only let the ones I’m really, really into.
Some time passes. From five minutes to hmm, some fresh air on the terrace would be great to some fresh air on the terrace with my music straight into my ears feels so good.
It’s cold, it’s about nine and a half on this late March that feels like late February and tomorrow is the 1st of April, it’s the birthday of someone special in your life. My life. It’s so wonderful in the house. I brush my teeth. With the headphones, still. Done, I put out the headphones, the phone on the bed, I take a shower. Get into pajamas. Fine. Pajamas. It matters. Putting the laptop on the bed. Done. Turn on the light of the lamp on the nightstand, I like that one a lot, as well. Just one more song. Headphones back on. The light is still on, it seems like it keeps me in this dizziness of “I’m on it”. It feels so nice. Sinking into the bed. Watching the videos of the songs on YouTube. Still on the phone. Getting pretty quickly back to Apple Music. Oh, but I want to watch the video of it, too. For the a lot of times time. You watch, listen.
A friend is writing something to me. I reply with a song. She sends me a song back. I don’t know what the artist is singing about, but it seems like words don’t really matter right now.
You close your eyes. Feel the sound so crisp in your ears ears. I turn off the light. You’re curious what song begins next. Now it’s, genuinely, just the music and me. No tricks. I so missed this.
I don’t know when I got out of bed, won’t say straight dancing out of it, it goes without saying, I could have not said it, but I did, in the dark, in pajamas, silence over the city, world. Music in my ears.
Back to bed.
I thought I’d be sleeping by now. Still here, though. After N.E.R.D.’s 1000, how could I have even thought of sleeping?
And this is how this evening I, completely, ignored any sort of planning almost transformed into, yet again, an ode to Pharrell Williams. But I’m on a different flow right now, Pharrell is definitely on it, and I just let it be. The flow. Stopped searching. I’m going to sleep.
F*ck, Safe And Sound has just started. This and then I’ll fall asleep. Can’t wait to wake up.
… Or into a Justice ode.
Danger of yet another flow. Of fireworks, hello.