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Someone Here Is One Of Us, The Believers

January 18, 2018

You just want to find that one song that really touches you. When you do, you have a split second of release. It’s insanely competitive and ambitious, so much to the point that it drives you a little crazy, but the trick is to stay only competitive with yourself, because nothing else matters. I just know that if you let yourself be inspired by others and stay really competitive with yourself, there’s a lot you can discover.

It’s very rare that I can’t take my eyes off of a man rather than of a woman. I know, I feel you. Jack Antonoff is the man. He caught my ears, first, one Friday evening, over home cleaning when MTV LIVE was playing, on tv, in the background.

Chemistry. You can’t put up with that no matter who catches what. Or who. What? Someone must be having fun writing in the stars.

I’m, peacefully, wiping the shelves and everything, prior to having turned the tv on, MTV on. The LIVE near that MTV sign must’ve turned me on. Somewhere at the top of my head, I must have wished for the LIVE to represent the ***LIVE*** I’m always craving for. But you know, I continued the wiping and everything.

It’s just recently that I came across the channel and, now, I want the sweatshirt with the funky MTV sticker on. I’d started to consider myself more of a VH1 (until a couple of years ago when it started to get nasty) kinda gal, post having always been an MTV one.

That LIVE, man… And that man. Ha-ha.

I liked the man long before finding out about his relationship with Lena Dunham. I liked Girls, so I like Lena. Nevertheless, it’s Jack that got me writing this now. Or him being a song writer and producer for Lorde, or Pink, or Taylor Swift. Or Lana.

It’s the style and I don’t even mean the clothing. It matters, though, too.

But what do I mean, right?

It’s this performance that makes me turn my head towards the tv.

After minutes of just listening without looking while overthinking everything, basically, and cleaning. On a Friday evening. I know. It was already dark outside. What? Well, it’s that. Moment of the day when it feels right. Sometimes.

I didn’t know what was on MTV LIVE when I turned it on. I just saw LIVE and UNPLUGGED and I knew. But little did I know.

I heard his voice, at first. Clean. No muss, no fuss. It was another distant thought you don’t pay attention to at first. But then he sang. The band played. The audience intervened and, suddenly, I wished I were there. I stopped the cleaning and listened and sang and, most importantly, danced.

Slowly nodding.

Coincidence or not, the name of the band Jack Antonoff is the front man, writer and producer of is Bleachers. I was cleaning my new, very me home.

The stars.

So, Jack Antonoff is someone I, randomly, heard on MTV LIVE, the channel I bumped into and threw a party for, in my soul. It’s the channel that presumably airs live shows ***oh yeaaah!***. I sat and not only listened and nodded, but also watched and, instantly, wanted to hug. Wanted to be friends with.

Little did I know then, yet again. While writing this and being super excited about it and not being sure whether to look at the fireworks inside or at the words being typed outside, everything stopped. Jack talks and it feels like he’s talking to my mind. I knew I needed to be fully present.

When I really like someone, I tend to fall in love. The people I’m most concerned about are the people that are paying attention. That’s all that matters. These are the people I like. Love. I want to know more through their art, at first, obviously, but, then, through interviews or talks in my living room (ha). Fun, genuine talks. Real, imaginary.

Raw.

The process is exactly the same. So that’s why I don’t like to be in really big studios; I like to be in a home studio or the hotel on tour. And to be honest, nothing I did had any team involved. I made my records at home. The Lorde and St. Vincent and Taylor and Pink were just made with the artists. There were no focus groups, no test audience. If I had the same year and less people noticed it, I would still feel pretty great about those albums. I love those albums. They mean a lot to me, and I loved making them. There’s no need to change that. There’s no better way to do it. There’s no first class of writing.

Rollercoaster.

The only way to have someone invest emotions into any kind of art is to succeed in understanding the not understandable.

Then I, later on, read in an interview:

It’s like your first panic attack. The first time you get a panic attack, most people think they’re literally having a stroke or a heart attack. They think they’re dying because they’ve never felt that way before. Whereas no one remembers the first time their knee hurt, because who gives a shit? So, I think that is the feeling of having interesting collaborative relationships that work. You find another person that understands this thing that you feel is not understandable. That’s also the feeling, to be honest, when one person or a billion people like or connect with a song you wrote. You get this moment of clarity that makes the world feel a little more connected. 

You find another person that understands this thing that you feel is not understandable.

Yup, this phrase x 2.

Then I, later on, saw this another live act I did my yoga routine on. Am I weird? Guess so.

Hands in the air.

I only have a problem when the mainstream assumes that we’re stupid. So, if you hear a song or watch a TV show that you think is stupid, I think, essentially, you feel bad because the creator of that thought thinks you are stupid. […] But then when Daft Punk and Nile Rogers or Pharrell is on the radio and it sounds amazing and it’s a brilliant song we love hearing it at the airport because it makes us feel smart, because we are smart!

Hands in the air.

Then it’s his discussion on shorts and since this is a website that started out of passion for fashion (a.k.a. style in OZ), this is the passion for fashion this websites salutes. The one you dig deeper for.

Passion, basically.

The audience is getting actually more than they bargained for. It’s a gift!

It’s passion.

The only way to master this is by totally being yourself. In every effing way. Otherwise, clothes are just clothes and fashion is just for the sake of fashionistas, but the eyes, chico, they never lie.

I never wrote songs because people wanted me to write songs or because the world said I was great at writing songs. I wrote songs because I felt like I had to say something and see if anyone else felt that way. When I started writing songs, it was for two friends. The feeling of playing a song for two friends and them saying, “Oh, I know what you’re talking about” is the same feeling as when the entire internet says, “I know what you’re talking about!”

Same.

Art (and love) is when you do your thing and forget about everything else. Get lost. Be free.

Art and business, just like love and fear, have nothing to do with each other. You can not make art because it’s good for business, you can not truly love when you’re afraid. You can make the thing you’re excited about, you can be with the one that excites you. That’s the only way to be fair to people who are not only investing money, but also emotions into your art. That’s the only way to be fair to the one you love and loves you back.

I can only make the records I’m inspired to make, because if I’m not inspired to work on it and I work on it, why the fuck should anyone care? If I don’t care, why the fuck should anyone care?

Same.

If you want to just listen (when cleaning up, hooray!), here’s the link for the whole Unplugged gig (in case you’re just as weird as I am and have your own Youtube party whenever you feel like; do you want to meet?):

In the end, what matters the most is to be with someone who loves like you do. Smiles freely when feeling or thinking of it.

Things shift and I think it’s an exciting opportunity to dig even deeper. 

One thing leads to another, so all we have to do is wish and honestly work for it. This is how I discovered NPR Music Tiny Desk Concert.

Of course I’d finished the cleaning sometime, at night, on that Friday. Enthusiastically.

PS: Watch out, a Friday is always just around the corner.

Hey, this is Cristina Pavelescu wearing a music cassette sweater, decoding (life) style and writing from wherever, yet always living in OZ, a world I invite you into. To smile in front of our screens (and live one day), put any kind of questions, answer in writing (or imagination) and marvel at fashion which is, in fact, style.

FOUNDER AND EDITOR

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