It’s this coat that I really liked and loved wearing and now the friend I have it from wants it back. Obviously, there’s no hard feelings, why would there ever be any? Plus, its story lit up the faces of so many people. There’s this itch, however, in my stomach to get up really early tomorrow morning and look for the fabric that would be right, right for my, you know, mojo and make a coat I not only really like and love wearing but… Adore. You know what I mean. That always puts you in a state. No pressure. You bet there’s no pressure. It’s a flow, it’s natural, it’s what you actually adore, that’s the thingy thing. It’s easy challenging sparkling true drums to its own beat but also home but also dance chill in harmony you know walk loving wholeness enthusiasm, I completely ignored any commas because hey, this is what it feels like inside of a coat you adore. You randomly, wink, put it on top of today’s favourite homewear. At home. In the car.
If I come to think about it, throughout the preceding days, a certain kind of feeling had been, so smoothly this time around, swiftly, sprinkling a certain kind of energy around. Even if, at times, guh-dung, your heart seemed to be pulled out of your stomach (yes stomach, it’s where the butterfly lives), something outside of it (a rhyme would’ve been nice, but) has been carrying you around, carrying for you (just feels soothing). Fluent. Hugging. Fresh. Hm, perfume. The Brits and the Super Bowl Halftime Show were the head start into the week. So.
The Monday lunch got us talking on the phone even after we’d got home. Oh, so, basically you’re just done with the bullshit, good, I say. Yeah, man, I’m done. And I think it comes with age, Alice says. I almost agree, it’s also what my brother says pretty often. This time around, though, words seem to die to fall out of my mouth: You know what, I always knew I didn’t feel good around bullshit, it’s just now I have zero tolerance to it. Myeah, that feels true, I know my Alice. I know people who are not even ten and have zero tolerance to bullshit. The first on the list is Inga, my brother’s youngest daughter. Hi, sweet, sweet baby girl!
My fingers go should we say more, like maybe something about yes, but bullshit is part of… Nope, can’t. Don’t want to. Why even try? This is, definitely, not about the coat. I believe the coat has its own journey. I will love the coat even if it’s the last time I see it. It sounds tragic, but I’m smiling as I’m writing, so, the coat and I, we’re on the same page. We’re cool. Plus, there’s this adore thingy thing sexy sparkling. Free.
Somehow, I even bumped into Heady vs. Heavy, these days. Active vs. Reactive. Vs. Happy, haha. What you think about you bring about sounds like equilibrium.
The friend with the text, our history goes way back, intercalated with all sorts of stuff. When her sister wanted to become a stylist, she asked me how to go about it. Told her my truth. If there’s someone you really like, the way they work, their work, then talk to them and see what happens. If not, you do you, you be the stylist that you, to the core, feel that you are, create your own path. And this is what she did and if she’d be asked if she’d achieved her then goal, I am pretty sure she would answer yes. I don’t know if she remembers the talk or not, it’s not even important, we were never on talking basis or anything like that, I know that whenever it crosses my mind, I am happy with what I said and have a haha on my mind. It all makes sense. Of what it used to be. In my heart. Totally out there. Many things make sense in a fraction of a second. I marvel at my openness, looking at it from outside. Celebrate it. I’m flying, my feet are not on the ground or is it the other way around? It’s all about the intention all the time. It’s not just about clothes, it never has been. It’s just that I felt something going on between the coat and me. And I guess this thing sticks out and there’s nothing anyone can do about it. Can it become hard for other’s eyes to handle? Or, or is this coat meant to just land in someone else’s closet and make someone else see something so finely, too? Clothes are not ever just clothes, see?
On a random walk with someone dear to have something on the go or even stop on a sidewalk to taste something you’ve never tasted before. They might have, you haven’t, the stream takes you places literally. It happened over Israel, for instance. Andreea went to Tel Aviv several times and she was delighted when we ran into this place on a Thursday afternoon. We didn’t stay long, the people cooking and the people just outside were actually from there, so that only made it even more not only authentic and nice, but also very pleasant. In a genuine way. People that really want you to have the best bite of their not only traditional, but favourite food, too, and they make it here, so they want it to be extra good for you. Our conversation on the mix of ingredients definitely added the extra vavavoom to it. Gracefully taking turns on a road that seems to climb up somewhere, I know.
And you happen to be in this coat.
Then, at some point, a while ago, a party came kind of out of nowhere. Although… Yes, uhm, and you figured out in five what you’re wearing. And it’s today’s favourite pair of trousers, they have a pink and blue and black and white zebra print after all, they are so warm in winter and cool, cool for you, that’s the whole point, and they kind of fall so effortlessly on your body and you know you feel like dancing in them anytime, but also watching out the windows of the airplane after the Christmas week with the family. See? We got way up high now. Precisely.
Grocery shopping where you always feel like uhmm, uhmm, hmm, yes, today’s favourite homewear at home, perfect hair, pf, kidding, kidding, pf not, kiddiiing, and yes the coat on top because you like it hot. As in give me your best shot. Fast. And good. Of course. As in, you have your list. Crisp. Sharp. Music in your ears if you’re alone, the sharpest discussion when you’re with a family member and you’d better be home quickly. So even that is fun. But also fast.
But then a romantic weekend with your Alex comes. You’d been spending quite some hours together over the phone, me from the comfort of my own bathtub and her wherever she was, we’re on a tiny bit of different time zones. And it snows and all that. A coat you really like feels so right. For a Saturday night delicious pizza. And wine. And a hat. Their hats, also. Yum.
But then, you know, there’s this one on your mind that you adore.
Or on a walk around with someone you, all of a sudden, find yourself developing great ideas for a city to flourish, what, I know. And I believe the best a human being can do for the city they live in, the city they were born in, all the countries they live in or visit or work in or whatever in, is to be the best human being that they are. Guess what, anyone could do that. In any form they feel their most authentic in. Easy.
I know I was kinda bummed out about it for a second, when the friend texted me, ok, the thought of it crossed my mind several times during the following weekend, but thought hm, let’s see. It was about the thrill and the time inside of it, nostalgic. Static. I’ve never find it to be my vibe. Ever. At all, but. This might sound like I’m metaphorical or something, but I’m not. A relationship totally represents the thrill and the time inside of it, loyalty, that’s the whole drill, who has time for whatever had come before it? It comes close to the no commas part above. But, but, but. Wait. Let’s not necessarily define it. Although! You know what I mean. Love. Love. Love. Love. Love. Love. Love. Love. Love.
And I could add some insane (or some very, very plain but also heady but also chill but also dancey here I go again) lining. Ooh, I’d like that. Don’t want to define that either, but I can almost feel the thrill. My eyes do feel it. Ooh. Of accurately looking throughout some factory. Similar to the grocery shopping from before. Without a list though, and that’s… Exciting. But also I know I’ll love to let it flow. See. And let’s say – because it happens sometimes with fabrics, little details – there has to be some kind of synchronicity. It doesn’t have to, but you’re definitely satisfied with the way life unfolds. Who knows the coat I might dream of tonight. Or the drive that would literally get me out of bed. Fly out of bed.
I thought about it in the tinniest moments, why, God, why? Kidding. Interesting how it all came about these days. Have you noticed how, sometimes, stuff happens, kindred situations, people, too? A day could pass and you see no one and then a day comes and you see and talk to (or just, diplomatically, choose not to) five people that… Something! It’s when you decide to make the best out of it. You’re already on your rocket, so it’s a fact. As in you know what feels right. Funny enough, the coat, totally collaterally, felt so, too.
So, I left for the mountains for yet another cozy extended weekend. I could just delete the days, the days are here for us to notice the waves they bring in, just like the seasons do.
Is this what letting go of the past completely feels like? This sounds like a metaphor I didn’t even know I needed and whatever happens next on the journey of the coat is whatever happens next on the journey of the coat. It’s a game you enjoy playing. The one you’ve, always, naturally enjoyed. Is it just life saying, more obviously, come on, come on? Very funny, life, very funny. I know I made that decision a long time ago. Oh, ok, so that fine is the line. And crystal clear. I see. I’m with you. With me. Yes, definitely. It’s those boundaries. Much better! Perfect! Thank you! Yes. Invincible is just as cool as vulnerable is. Or, let’s say, honest is.
The coat has its own way, pfew, it’s good to be back. Hello!
You went to what feels like the natural extreme to you, but at times, you might have ended up hurting yourself in some very subtle way. Again and again. You know you’re right about it, in your heart, but it’s not until you bump into the one you can, actually, bounce off ideas with at any time of day and night, then you’re both right, it’s our ultimate right, that… Ultimate luxury comes to mind. You grow, you enjoy the ride.
Because, sometimes, you tend to overstretch yourself. I know I did. I stretched the s*it out of yoga’s wild thing to see the sun coming out of the mountains, on Monday morning, and now my neck is so happy to be in the perfect temperature water of the bathtub. Funny sun, funny mountains, funny start of the week. Again.
A discussion with mom on the same morning, over breakfast, got mom saying It’s like you know it’s not really right what you’re doing, you can sense it in your gut, but you do it, in that fraction of a second.
It’s for you to learn, I say. It’s up to you. You learn so you get ahead of it whenever that fraction of a second shows up. You’d better learn. Next time, there might be no next time. There’s always a next time, it’s up to what you want to bring about, though. Ooh.
Loona came by later on, I made her a tour of the entire house, very ladylike of us. Even mom couldn’t hide her enthusiasm. Dad made her bed again, in the wood housey house in the back. Who knows when she might have babies again. Of course I googled the neck overstretch, the shoulders overstretch thingy thing. Not the medical thing. The thingy thing. All good. Google, so close to giggle.
This thingy thing I love bringing in… I got it from Gema, Leo’s mom, we love each other and we have this thingy thing conversations whenever they happen to happen. Every time I bring it in, I know exactly what we both mean. I might have gotten it to a little bit of an extreme, love supreme, but we’re family, it’s fabulous. She sent me Until I Found You, on the same Monday, I sent her back (and my brother) The Horses, on Tuesday. Hi, Gem, shy emoji. When I sensed her overthinking, I know exactly what that feels like, I knew I knew her, we made a deal: let’s just put it out there, Gem, whatever comes from you I know it always comes with the best intention and that’s all that matters, regardless of the words or gestures, that whatever comes from me you know it always comes with the best intention and that’s all that matters, regardless of the words or gestures. Basically, no bullshit. She likes when I say You bet!.
The story is so romantic, obviously. I’ve been telling everyone who complemented me on the coat about it. Newsflash, the coat is wonderful, there’s no doubt about it, was a complete surprise for me, too, but it was more about that thingy thing going on between us. That I’m sure, sure, sure is that one of a kind thing that can’t be bought. No matter who buys it.
It feels so good it makes you take the decision to say f to anything that doesn’t come any close to what it feels like and, boom, the universe starts to rearrange itself for you, remember? Oh yes! The truth! And there’s truth in relationships, it’s what, I believe, the foundation of every relationship is. It takes two, though, until two become one. If we were all to become one, would half of the planet disappear? Never mind that, imagine the sparkles all over the place. Is this the reason why soulmates are so rare? It takes one to know one, hallelujah.
The mug I’m sipping the coffee from says make love not walls, yet sometimes it’s your soul that is the love and you, definitely, want walls when you mate with your soul. It’s been under my nose since I was born. I might have applied that too literally even when I didn’t really identified with stuff. It’s the Kingdom of Dreams that we watched over Friday and Saturday. But wanted everyone around me happy, no matter what. That’s the tricky part. Deceptions or betrayals that came out of absolutely nowhere. The victim thing has never been my thing, but it’s precisely this thing that can become a thing for people around you. I know I’ve always been inspired by freedom, go figure! And intuition tells you, but I used to kind of choose to believe nah, can’t be that… But then my eyes saw it, my ears heard it. You bet it made me stronger. I’m not mad at it. It’s just why it felt tricky, because stars know I’ve tried. But hallelujah. It’s the scale, the vibe, the tribe.
There’s a lot to this story, there are many stories spread throughout. This coat ends up being not just more than just a coat, which we one hundred percent clarified that it is, more than just a coat, but a bouquet of flowers taking off from my hands, as we speak, as a symbol of the grande finale. A symbol of the past. Ooh, it sounds more dramatic than it is. For the coat and me. It’s suave, airy, no worries. Mmmwa! Now, I value it even more, it’s been my armour, a cape through a time in my life I won’t forget.
I adore soft.
And it’s not about stopping to love people, old friends who you danced a lot with in clubs, at parties on impromptu nights happening all of a sudden and have respected your boundaries, as seen below, it’s about choosing happiness. Renaissance.
Aaaaaa!!!! We keep this tradition of saying Happy Bday a thousand days apart or you know, not at all, wahaha. Happy birthday! The best is always yet to come! Mwa! Hug [lovely wife] and the little guy! Ever growing pink heart, rocket, star.
And his reply: Hahaha you’re so funny. Pretty thanks kisses Kiss emoji.
You know perfectly where you stand. You’ll always have the memories, you’ve known each other for more than ten years, you smile only remembering about them, but, man, you’ve never felt more you than you do right now. Home and home again and again feels so good.
And then I call Gabi, she’s been cutting my hair for more than ten years, too, and everything is just so clear. Fun.
Listen, long story short, this is the thing. I went to her wedding, a year ago, we’d known each other for more than ten years, keep it feisty and short, yes, then she came to my home, I cooked something lively on the spot, had some red wine, my neighbours happened to come by, we had a good time and we all smile when we remember about just how sick I, instantly, got. Funny, funny. Anyway, back to the coat. Oh, we haven’t even started that. So, at some point, it might have seemed like another bottle of red wine was needed or something, so we decided to go together get one, from the grocery shop just near by. I was wearing a pair of blue jeans and, by that time, they got really, really ripped just underneath the right cheek. I had a sweater on top, but decided not to go butt naked to the grocery shop. Even with my warm jacket on, yes. We were in front of the lift. As soon as I turned back to go change, she said: oh no, let’s just exchange our jackets. She wore my dark blue hooded winter jacket I basically wear pretty much all of the time in winter and I wore, tuh-duh, the coat that she’d just found in a charity shop with reselling it through her instagram shop on her mind. We laughed in the lift, in the grocery shop, and as soon as we got back in the lift, she told me You know what, this coat suits you so well (the truth is I felt fantastic in it and, now, you know the favourite at that moment homewear underneath, my world) that I’m thinking let’s exchange coats and see what happens. So this is what we did. Doesn’t this sound… Lovely? I liked it from the moment I saw it, but I just might sell it to you. I was in. It was unexpected, sounded pretty invigorating, sure! Should have bought it right then and there, but here’s how it goes, it went naturally, so I trust this. I pulled out a coat I’d been wearing for a while up until that moment, the story of how and where and from whom I bought that one is funny, too. I enjoyed it, we had some awesome times together, and thought perfect timing for it to get somewhere else. It felt natural. One year later, she texts me that she would want the coat back. My heart skipped a bit, but also couldn’t wait to call her on my crisp run and, on this occasion, to also catch up. I talk so loud about about how it would be best for her to take care of herself more, long story, with my headphones in my ears that I feel like the whole Victory Lane can hear me speaking or something, but suddenly, or luckily, or something, no cars, very few people, it feels like it’s just me and the sun in front of me, on the sidewalk. Of course, I bring up totally upfront the coat in our discussion. My intention is to know whatever she truly wants. She told me she wanted the coat back because she felt like wearing it to Rome next time. When I heard that, I knew there was no going back. Told her about my undying love for it, though, but also told her that I completely get it. Even told her our story above. The cold wind was around. Just mentioned the sun, you get the vibe. It was on that same day that the other four people came about. You coat, coat…
Are coats the some kind of magic Queen is singing about?
I couldn’t resist or just wanted to be there one hundred percent and see. So I drove to a fabric warehouse sharply. Now, here’s another thing. If I would’ve bumped into the thingy thing, I would’ve got it no matter what. Didn’t, felt alright about it and drove back. Loved it. We’ll see. In the past, I would’ve got something that had caught my eye. Some dark green army thing, something black with discrete red palm trees on it, a certain kind of blue velvet? Nah. I still have some huge amounts of fabrics at my lady seamstress. Hm. Nah.
I brought the socks home. Today’s favourite homewear is made of the fluffy baby blue robe with vibrantly coloured, the size of a palm butterflies on it. And the socks. Imagine the coat for today’s favourite homewear and my world inside of it.
I’m on an important mission, mom’s birthday is in 2 days and I have a surprise to further orchestrate, mwa! Mmmmmwa!