Fly Me

October 28, 2020

If you think it’s a game I’m playing – the video in the beginning or at the end of a story thing – you should know that it’s not! Or is iiit? I suggest you watch the video, since you’re already here, and we’ll see.

I have, a long time ago, figured out that – when in any kind of relationship with anyone – it’s not, ever, about age or a number of particular sort of experiences or something when making a connection. It’s about the truth. It’s just one truth and its natural colour is pink. It can turn dark grey, at times, when it hurts, but dark grey can feel just as good as pink does as long as it takes you back to you. It’s the clarity you’re shooting for. Guess what else is pink. Is punk. And so is Millie Bobby Brown’s acting in this video.

I saw this girl, in this video, acting, but even more so, just being honest, really, like I can’t imagine too many grown up people doing is something I found myself saying to the people around me, these days, out of thin air. For these lyrics to be sung and performed like this by a 12-year-old, ok acted too, but in any case, is something to pay attention to. The people around me were, hence, forced to do pay attention to Millie in Find Me. She’s raw, I continued. The first seasons of Stranger Things helped for sure. The truth is raw and I believe that if more people would just choose life over… I don’t know what, the world would just breathe easier. 

Art has this power. Of showing the truth. And this is bound to sound cheesy af, but love has it, too. It’s true! See? True. Regardless of how much of a closeted romantic you are, you know there’s only one truth.

We tend to think about what people think about us because we’re afraid of being judged and you are only afraid of being judged because you judge.

A lot. 

Yourself, in the first place.

And one must not confuse the above with perfectionism of some sort. Are you afraid to look, to really look at yourself in the mirror and see your true self? Listen again to Michael Jackson’s Man In The Mirror and look in the mirror. Your most profound sense of truth and knowledge is within yourself. Once you sense the truth, the fear gradually disappears. You learn that truth takes discipline and this is where the hard work begins. Or exactly the opposite begins, the most simple thing to do ever. You know how, sometimes, it’s just so easy? Like for instance, when you love someone. Before you love, you fall in love. 

You fall. In. Love.

And then you love. It takes some sort of fierce consistency. Work. Work that tastes like your favourite fruit. Or, in awesome circumstances, like your favourite something you’re about to discover, something you haven’t even thought about.

You can be as you choose to be. It’s an act of discipline sometimes, but it can be done, said Kevin Costner to Whitney Houston in The Bodyguard.

Open your mind. We hear that all the time, thank God, and that’s the f*cking point! Why does putting this word ~you know what word~ between other words feel so right? Clarifying even. It’s tough to translate it in other languages. Translate it in yours if English is not your mother tongue or simply because you can do it in another language just for fun, too. One of my best friends learned Turkish just for fun, so I might have this conversation with him pretty soon.


Later edit: my seven year old niece has just read the article. She asked her father what does f*ck mean. Isn’t it the coolest that now she knows she isn’t, yet, allowed to use it? She’s smart, obviously, and now she’s not going to just pick it up from movies. She watched A Star Is Born for more than ten times. One really has to know how to use f*ck. My mom is, still, not ok with me using the word. End of later edit.

Open your mind to change. To be able to change. But for you to do that, to change, to become more of who you are, you need to open your mind first. Word. To open your mind to different points of view. Just to see which one clicks with you. Click to yourself first, though. Your intuition always knows when it’s the right time to open our mind. All the time, yes.

A closed mind stumbles over the blessings of life without discovering them is something I once heard somewhere and thought Hm.

Open your heart if you want to love (live) and be loved, a thing or two sung in music since forever. Almost every song, at the core, wants you to sing it. It hurts like crazy when your heart is closed, but there’s no better feeling than when you see the truth and, boom, your heart opens. Similar to looking at the ocean while laying on the sand in the most wonderful weather ever. And you have your sunglasses on.

And then, there are the people you can be your truest with and they can be their truest with you. Free. That’s connection.

That. Is. Magic.

Regardless of, glittearally, any-f*cking-thing: circumstances, age, religion, color, race, style. Remember your favourite fruit’s taste from above? Ok, cake. Or pizza. Or your mom’s or dad’s signature dish?

That. Is. Magic.

Now, you might feel you need to watch the video again. I feel you, I did it a lot of times, too. It’s the place we left off anyway, no? Lift off. Same.

The truth in art is forever. It’s not only forever, but it’s forever young, whooh! The truth in life… In anything in life… It might seem like you can get away with not seeing it (the pleasing everyone all the time way), not acknowledging it (the coward way) or even worse, hiding it (the stupid way), but the truth happens to have the best sense of humour, too. You get out of a hot bubble bath, on a late evening, the music is, slowly, playing, the house smells good and boom!

– Knock, knock!

Who’s there?

It’s definitely not the truth. The truth has just had a bubble bath with you, it’s in your music, it’s in your food, it’s with you all the f*cking time.

Why, why, why?

– Because we only have one life.

I meant the f word.

Oh, that again, yeah.

It’s the one knocking at your door. The truth is being funny and as the truth is everywhere, isn’t it the sweetest when it’s knocking at your door, too? You come out of the bubble bath, all dripping and everything, leave cartoonish traces on the floor, get the chills, you open the door and you hug. 

Nothing real can be threatened, Beyoncé – All Night

The mere fact of putting it all on paper, just as it comes, and into the world feels good, freeing. It must be love, what can I say.

Hey, this is Cristina Pavelescu wearing a music cassette sweater, decoding (life) style and writing from wherever, yet always living in OZ, a world I invite you into. To smile in front of our screens (and live one day), put any kind of questions, answer in writing (or imagination) and marvel at fashion which is, in fact, style.


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