The Met Gala, the Costume Institute Gala, the Met Ball or “the name that tells you you are not (yet) the maniac you thought you were when it comes to your Instagram fashion feed and still can live peacefully without knowing what that actually is”.

In brief, it is the annual fundraising gala for the benefit of the Metropolitan Museum of Art’s Costume Institute in New York City and the opening celebration for the Institute’s annual fashion exhibit. Officially. Each year there is a theme and celebrities from the arts, fashion, high-society, film and music attending the show (and paying a $30.000 entrance fee) can go wild (as if the ticket wasn’t wild enough) and dress in whatever. Unofficially (except for the price). It can be pizzas, flaming hats or barely-there.

There are 6-700 invitees (hand picked by Anna Wintour, editor-in-chief of Vogue, herself, gathered by the Vogue staffers) and this is one of the most notable sources of funding for the Institute.

Chillax.

As much as I love fashion and everything clothes can do to one, I don’t understand the role of the carrot most of the attendees are carrying around. In places where da sun don’t shine. They are wearing some of the most famous designers and have just been styled up by the best “squads”, after all. How not to have fun?

If it is, however, the garden of carrots that just won’t let one enjoy one’s champagne, one should, at least, have fun with one’s outfit. So. There is a dress code. “Manus x Machina: Fashion in an Age of Technology” is this year’s. One should wear one’s laser machine attached to the one’s laser-cut dress. Or smth. Anything.

One just can not go to the Met and be dressed for the Oscars, even though the ball is considered the Oscars of the fashion world, no statuettes or speeches included. It might be the only event where one can kidnap Alicia from Ex-Machina (or “The man from U.N.C.L.E.”, or “A royal affair”), wear her and get away with it. So. Unleash the beast!

Put on one’s boots. And dance.

Or don’t.

But just eat the carrot. God damn. Flamenco dancing emoji.

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Alicia Vikander. Alicia above, Alicia below, Alicia everywhere. In Louis Vuitton.

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Alexa Chung in Thakoon. Dazzling, fun, sexy. And thank God for those sandals! Nothing else. Nothing. Everything!

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Zoë Kravitz in Valentino. Let love rule.

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Michelle Williams in Louis Vuitton. Boots. Again. And everything.

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Claire Danes in Zac Posen. Have you ever. I have. Dream of Cinderellas. And shoes. And princes. And dress, why not?

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Karlie Kloss in Brandon Maxwell, if I were to choose from all the models’ gowns. And roar. “Roar”.

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Solange Knowles in David LaPort. “I said oops up side your head, I said oops up side your head!”

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Are you ready? Will.I.am.He looks ready. To rumble. Or go to the beach. He is extravagant. He can.

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Julie Macklowe. Would totally wear dis. And steal Alexa’s sandals, Alicia’s smlie. And then wear this.

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Selena Gomez in Louis Vuitton. Nicolas strikes (yet) again making this outfit the best of Selena’s ever. Can’t quite tell whether she realises this or not. Looks like not.

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Brie Larson in Proenza Schouler. Now imagine this dress without these shoes. Told ya.

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And Beyoncé (in Givenchy) is more of a smoothie than a lemonade here. I think she needs water, though. She must have lost some. ozinparis-beyonce

Amber Valletta in H&M. H&M?! Cool. Would totally wear it with jeans and Alexa’s sandals.

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Oh, they actually changed the carpet. It’s not only red anymore. It was about time, duh!

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This is what you can actually see at the Metropolitan Museum of Art’s Costume Institute.ozinparis-netaporter

Now. Does this look any fun to you? https://www.facebook.com/HarpersBazaar/videos/10153858237567562/

Yup, didn’t think so.